• Mr.Muliebris

The French Maid

Updated: Sep 6

The Private Journal of Mr.Muliebris, 1st of --, --8

'On the 1st of ---, my friend Mme E. visited me with a most curious request. She wished to become my French maid, she said.


"But, madame, I already have a maid, and although she is advanced in years and a little deaf, she is honest and diligent, and I could not turn her out," I said.


Mme. E. explained that it would be a temporary placement. During her acrimonious and very public divorce from the odious and very wealthy politician M. J., he remarked that he had refused to pay her maintenance on the grounds that she could always get a job as a maid.


Mme. E., inspired by her soul mate Pierrette, inquired if I would take her on for just a few days, and, furthermore, make a point of showing the evidence of her labours to everyone I knew. And so I did. While she was industrious in her duties, dusting and polishing, cleaning the pool, laying out the bathing attire, arranging the towels and loungers in the pool area and even undertaking a little light gardening, we were easily distracted by the many diversions in my home. She proved to be a formidable and unorthodox chess player, and her skill with the cue is legendary. It must be said, however, that her domestic methods were eccentric - dear reader, I shall not readily forget Mme.E.'s scandalous method of decanting the eye-wateringly expensive wine she had taken from M. J.'s cellar, and I wager neither will you.


It is a story with a happy ending, for Mme E. soon took up with a delightful widowed heiress, Mme. F., who was much taken with the evidence of her work. They enjoy each other's company to this day. Mme F. tells me that Mme E.'s French polishing is second to none.'


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